Gay Bride Diaries
I recently met a lovely couple. One is half Sri Lankan and half Indian, and the other is Hmong. They wanted to represent their heritage on their wedding day, even though both of their families didn’t approve of their marriage and didn’t attend. They wore traditional wedding attire from their countries. The colors of the fabrics and styles of the dresses couldn’t have looked more exquisitely beautiful together amidst the waterfall and garden background in an ironically traditional wedding portrait of a very nontraditional couple.
Random Wedding thought of the week:
Have two pregnant brides ever married?
Quote from my memoir, “Diary of a Gay, Pregnant Bride”:
As almost every young girl dreams about her wedding, I did, too. I planned for a big Catholic church filled with people and for a white dress that I designed and my mother sewed, with silver sequins and cut-out butterflies. I pictured the bridesmaids’ dresses each a color of the rainbow and the guys with matching ties. The flower girl wearing purple butterfly wings like a fairy. A perfect wedding cake my mother decorated. My father walking me down the aisle and giving me away to my handsome Italian groom. Sun coming in the church’s stained glass windows and God nodding with approval. All my relatives and friends sharing in the happiest day of my life.
As this pivotal day approached, however, I had to let go of every wedding fantasy I ever manifested. We won’t be getting married in a Catholic church or any church. My fiancée isn’t Catholic, but now, neither am I. Our marriage won’t be legal in our state of Minnesota because we are both women. My father can’t walk me down the aisle because he is no longer living. My mother can’t sew the dress I designed or decorate my cake because she is too sick from chemo treatments.
Questions to Consider:
Will you incorporate anything traditional or family pieces into your wedding? A ring from a relative, a piece of your mother’s old wedding dress sewn inside, drawings of your children on your veil, something borrowed, something blue?
Did you know?
States have laws how long after you are legally divorced before you can get married again. For example, in Wisconsin there’s a period of 6 month. Washington does not have a period. So if you are looking at remarriage after a divorce, you better check the laws in your state.
Debating how much money to spend on a photographer? 5 to 10 years from now you’ll probably only have that one special photo hanging in the house that you look at all the time, the one you hand down to your children. But that one priceless photo has a price. Insert your budget and decide what that photo is worth to you. Also decide how many photos are important to you. If you are having a friend take photos that’s great, but in my experience with weddings it helps when there are at least two professionals taking photos because especially events like weddings, there are usually at least two priceless moments happening at the same time. One photographer can’t snap both at the same time. A good photographer will usually have an assistant or another person with a camera helping. For example, when there’s a priceless kiss, there’s someone reacting to it. When there’s the priceless first dance, there’s the flower girl dancing. When you’re cutting the cake, there may be toilet paper sticking to a guest’s shoe. A second photographer will get behind the main scenes to those special moments you missed during the ceremony. But more so, they will also capture those extra snapshots of those glorious moments from another angle. So ask your photographer how many people they work with and how many cameras they will have at your ceremony and reception. And then decide what’s worth it for your budget. It’s usually those shots you didn’t think of that turn out the best.
Pride, Preparation, and Pricing,