Marriage: 8 Unavoidable Things Same-Sex Couples Should Discuss

Like opposite-sex relationships, same-sex marriages also need commitment and the seriousness that all relationships need to succeed. For this reason, if you’ve discussed settling down together, you have to ask yourselves all the tough questions without leaving any stone unturned. Though for sure, there’s a lower divorce rate of same-sex couples than there is for opposite-sex couples.


A renowned divorce mediation emphasizes the importance of discussing these things before taking the relationship to the next level.

1.   Hold The Money Talk

Money remains to be a top source of disagreements in most homes. However, it is not unusual to have a better finance manager between the two. Or, if you’re both reliable with your finance management, then you can make conclusive decisions on how to manage your money.


If marriage means one of you relocating to another state, you need to know their prospects of getting a job in the state you settle in. There’s a lot that revolves around settling together, like, paying bills, savings, expenses, etc. Ensure that you hold these discussions to avoid significant conflicts from arising in the future.

2.   Family and Friend’s Backup

With time, same-sex marriages have become more acceptable in society. However, the truth is, there’s still a percentage spreading the stigmatization of same-sex marriage, raising unnecessary alarm. Your family and friends are no exception to this. You are lucky if they accept your relationship. However, if they are not in support, will you still move on to marriage, and are you okay with it?

3.   Security and Where to Live

If you are a proud being in the LGBTQ community, then you have nothing to hide. However, you still have to remember that there’s a larger community of opposite-sex couples who still have staunch beliefs and have not accepted the “new relationship normal.”


Therefore, if you’re planning on marriage, you need to identify an area where you can live peacefully without any fears. Living is about the home you live in and usually hanging out or doing your things generally in the neighborhood without fear.


4.   Thoughts On Parenting

One of the standard societal measures of marriage is building a family together. Well, for same-sex couples, this needs to be one of the top discussions. It may also hugely affect your finances. Therefore, you need to be ready for it.


Some of the common questions around parenting are:

  • Number of children
  • How to get the children- adoption, IVF, surrogacy, etc.
  • How to raise them


Reviewing this will help you plan your finances accordingly and see if you’re ready to start your marriage.

5.   Conflict Resolution Style

Due to our different personalities and tastes, conflicts are inevitable in any relationship. Of course, you have personal reasons for why you opted for a same-sex relationship, but there are some constant hiccups that you can’t overlook. Things are bound to be more intense in a marriage setup since you’re interacting more, living together, and seeing each other every day.


First, evaluate your current conflict resolution styles in your separate living situations. Discuss ways to avoid conflict or how to solve them as soon as they arise. If any of you have anger management issues, start dealing with them as early as possible. Living together doesn’t solve the underlying problem or reaction to issues. The mask will eventually fall off.

6.   Who Handles The House Work

In this modernized society, any gender can do house chores without looking or feeling inferior. However, depending on the marriage involved, you may need to point out clearly who does what around the house. In the LBGTQ society, however, this is never a big issue. Most same-sex couples tend to share chores and co-exist peacefully. However, please be clear on this before you start living together.


7.   Your Religion and Beliefs

It is impossible to talk about LGBTQ and not talk about religion. To date, a high percentage of religious institutions still don’t embrace same-sex marriage. Therefore, you need to discuss how to officialize your marriage and what church to raise your kids if you’ll get any.


If you need your marriage officialized in church, you can hold your wedding in a state where churches embrace same-sex marriages and later move to your desired state. It is a critical discussion to have, and we advise that you don’t overlook it.


8.   Your Deal Breakers

Everyone has deal breakers in a relationship. Indeed, they won’t be the same, but if most of your deal breakers almost align, then chances are, your marriage will work. Making these clear from the beginning helps you avoid unnecessary future conflict and enables you to acknowledge the other person’s boundaries.


There’s no guarantee for a lasting relationship. However, holding these crucial conversations will help you manage your expectations and know what to expect in the future. You can only try to see if it all works out. If you need marriage advice, don’t feel shy to consult a professional attorney to show you the ins and outs of law concerning same-sex relationships.



About the Author

Veronica Baxter is a writer, blogger, and legal assistant operating out of the greater Philadelphia area.