Esteemed Jewelry Designer Rony Tennenbaum has created engagement and wedding rings for same-sex couples across the world. Here’s his take on all the different ways he’s seen couples pop the big question.
It is obvious that as marriage equality laws expand throughout the country, we face new etiquette issues we never had to tackle before. For example a question I get asked a lot: “Who among two people of the same sex does the “proposing””.
As a jeweler I am faced everyday with couples looking to get engagement rings or wedding bands, but if you break down the actual act of “proposing”, “getting engaged” and even “getting married”, you realize there are new rules of conduct that we have only been dealing with for a decade. It is no surprise that I get lots of questions such as: “Who proposes to who?” or “Do we get engaged?” or “Do I surprise him (or her)”, and so on. I have to admit as I deal with more couples and their sentimental ring purchases, I am also privy to a wealth of decisions couples make regarding their journey. Here are a few of my favorites:
A young man walked into my store a couple years back and asked to see diamond men’s rings because he wanted to surprise his boyfriend and propose. The element of surprise was very important to him because he felt the surprise would be romantic. They have been together for 6 years and he was eager to start the rest of their lives together as soon as possible.
The sentiment in “popping the question” for a same sex couple, is definitely romantic. The guy knew what his partner would like and focused on him. All that mattered was how much he loves his boyfriend and wanted to surprise him with a token of that love.
My niece and her girlfriend of 3 years approached me a few years back and told me they were planning to get married. The wedding was planned for 2 years down the road, but the girls decided that they most certainly wanted to be engaged leading up to their wedding. Together the girls came to see me to discuss engagement rings. Together they sat and discussed what each of them would like. And together they agreed that each would wear an engagement ring of their liking and flank them at the wedding with matching wedding rings.
In this scenario, two things happened: a. the girls talked about every decision openly and b. it was perfectly ok not to have matching rings. I constantly tell couples, that just because they are a “same sex” couple does not mean they need to get identical rings. Keeping a sense of individuality is as important as communication.
A third and fun story happened to me a while back:
Two very nice guys came to see me to talk engagement and wedding rings. Each wanted very different looking rings, which was great! Once they selected and knew what they liked and wanted, I dealt with each one individually on getting his partner’s rings made. When the time came and the first ring was finished and picked up. He thought he will wait for a special occasion, and pop the question. That lasted exactly three hours. That night just after dinner they went for a walk along the beach, he got down on one knee and proposed.
This is a great example of communication with a romantic ending. The guys discussed their engagement, shopped together for their rings and still had a traditional proposal. By the way, after the first proposal, the second ring was finished a week later and the second partner got a chance to ask his now “fiancé” if he would honor him by being his husband. They are now happily married.
There are many ways to propose and plan an engagement and wedding, but one thing is for sure, the rings are a symbol of the love and strength of a couple’s bond. So I say: Get Engaged, Get Married… and Live Happily Ever After.
Jewelry Designer Rony Tennenbaum creates stunning Engagement & Wedding jewelry for same sex couples all over the world. These beautifully crafted 14K gold ring collections bring a new fresh look to traditional idea. Designs that originate out of love and sentiment make a solid foundation for a lasting relationship. His motto is: Get Engaged! Get Married! And Live Happily Ever After…” View his collection and see his Pridezillas listing for more details on how to get a hold of his gorgeous, timeless designs.