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If you’re reading this article, then you’re probably looking for tips on how to write wedding vows for a lesbian wedding. A lot of gay couples are opting to write their own wedding vows these days because the traditional ones are often bland and outdated. Coming up with words to describe your significant other can be difficult and lots of people don’t know where to start.

No matter if you want to write them for scratch or are looking for inspiration online, we have you covered in this guide with some examples included.

Why Vows are Important

Planning a wedding can be hectic to say the least. You have to choose a wedding venue, find a photographer, and make a guest list among a million other things.

Because of this, vows are often put on the backburner, but they shouldn’t be. Vows represent your lifetime commitment to each other and the promises that you make for the marriage.

Tips for Writing Lesbian Wedding Vows

Don’t Procrastinate

The number one tip when writing vows is not to put it off until the last minute! The first draft you come up with most likely won’t be the one you use at the wedding. Give yourself lots of time to edit and revise before the big day.

Remember, the first draft that you do doesn’t have to be perfect so don’t worry too much. You can fight writer’s block by getting started early and fixing it later.

Ask a Third Party

Having a close friend look over the vows before the wedding can be helpful. They can guide one or both of you so that you both have a similar tone with your vows.

You also have to consider the tone and setting of the wedding when writing vows. Light-hearted vows will be good for couples that want to add some comedy to the wedding. More serious vows might be the best option for other couples.

Keep it Short

Although some people might go all out with a 15-minute speech about love and commitment, it’s better to keep the vows short and to the point.

The average person talks 125-150 words per minute so 150-300 words is a good length for your wedding vows.

Practice Beforehand

The old saying ‘practice makes perfect’ certainly rings true here. With any kind of public speaking it’s important to practice beforehand. Speak slowly and clearly while making eye contact with your partner. Use note cards to help you remember your vows if necessary.

Don’t Be Scared of Vulnerability

We are brought up to think of weddings as nerve wracking events and it can certainly feel like this at times. The better way to think of it is as a loving exchange that you want to share with family and friends.

Although it might feel uncomfortable to be vulnerable in front of other people, it helps to make the event that much more genuine.

Get Ideas from Wedding Videos

Everyone needs some inspiration at some point. If you’re feeling completely stuck, then you can always look on Youtube for some vow examples. Take the main points that resonate with you the most and tweak them to suit your needs.

Questions to Ask While Writing Your Vows

As you put together a first draft you can ask yourself these questions and include the answers in your vows.

What Makes the Relationship Special?

Every lesbian relationship is unique and there are quirky things couples do that are different from others. Think about what these things are and include them.

Why are You Marrying This Person?

Out of all the people in the world you ended up with one. Think about all the specific personality traits that make them stand out amongst others.

What Can’t You Live Without?

Think about some of the things that your partner can’t live without. Vow to include all of these specific things in your marriage.

What Does the Future Hold?

Vows always include some talk about the future. Visualize what the future will hold for you and your partner. Perhaps you want to travel? Start a family? Start a business? Whatever your dreams are, make them a part of your vows.

How Can You Be a Better Partner?

It’s no secret that love is one of the biggest motivators in making change. Think about what your partner likes. Vow to work on yourself and be the best that you can be.


Writing vows for a lesbian wedding doesn’t have to be hard. We hope that this article helped to shed some light on the topic. Remember to prepare in advance, speak from the heart and above all don’t be scared to be vulnerable.

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