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Gay Bride Diaries

Dearly Beloved,

So same-sex marriage is legal in every state in the United States! So once you are married you can move anywhere in the U.S. and your marriage will still be recognized with the same benefits. Does that mean we should all propose to our significant others and start planning a wedding? Of course! Or not…same-sex marriage, we will now just call it “marriage” (thank you very much), can lead to divorce. But at least we have an equal right to be married and get divorced. Will the divorce rate go down with same-sex couples being able to marry? Let’s prove it to the nongays that we can have longer lasting relationships and deserved marriage long before it was legal. But of course we still can’t promise anyone forever, can we? Feelings change, people change, and we all know it takes 2 to be 1. But if you’ve dreamed of a marriage, go for it, and I hope you will take away some planning advice from a bride who has had many weddings to plan (even though I’ve only married one woman).

Random Wedding thought of the week:

Whoever you’re going to marry, make sure you get their name right. On Friends, Ross said “Rachel” instead of “Emily” and that didn’t turn out so well.

Quote from my memoir, “Diary of a Gay, Pregnant Bride”:

As I pictured the ceremony in my mother’s backyard, I tried to romanticize the atmosphere: the willow tree my dad planted blowing in a subtle wind, birds singing, purple and pink flowers in pots, saying our vows under the white trellis. However, negative thoughts painted over grandeur. I saw my white shoes and dress ruined with grass stains, ticks crawling up the legs of the wedding party and guests, and deer flies landing on people’s heads. And worst of all, I saw snakes crawling through the lawn from Momtom’s recent snake infestation.

Questions to Consider:

Hate kissing in front of people on demand at your wedding? Here’s how to combat that. You can put every guest’s name in a jar, and when you kiss, you draw a name and that person has to kiss their partner. Most people don’t want to be put on the spot kissing so not that many will clink glasses after that. My partner and I held up a decorative fan and kissed behind it. No one clinked after that.

Did you know?

Before gay marriage was legal in Minnesota, our officiant wasn’t legally allowed to even say the word, “marriage” when she married us.

Good Advice:

If you want something, you will not usually regret buying it. You will, on the other hand, regret it if you don’t. It’s your wedding, get it, own it, and stand proud!

Pride, Patriotism, and Pancakes,


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